


the sky is the limit (to our burning wings)

by myouwos



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, There's a lot of fluff I swear, and angst too because sanayeon is kinda angsty, so good luck, strangers to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers, this is like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25338955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myouwos/pseuds/myouwos
Summary: sana is a wealthy heiress searching for her soulmate, but the mark on her arm starts fading, a sign that whoever her soul chose is gone. until a mysterious woman named nayeon enters her life claiming to be her soulmate, and on her collarbone are the same flowers sana has spent years admiring.but in reality, nayeon is an inexperienced thief who replaced empty skin with a temporary tattoo, more interested in sana's wealth than she is in fulfilling the role of her soulmate.that is, until feelings get involved, and a change of heart is inevitable.ora sanayeon soulmate au in which sana is only asking to be loved, and nayeon learns that pretending is not as easy as she had believed it to be. commissioned by @nayeonsphone <3
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 31
Kudos: 232





	1. upon the burning of our hearts

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for commissioning me again, ily<333
> 
> hope you'll like this as much as i loved writing it🥰
> 
> enjoy<3

  
  


fingers tracing the three orchid flowers on her inner arm, a habit she gained with time, sana absentmindedly stares by the wide windows of her father's office, lost in thoughts. 

  
  


the buildings are high enough to paint a picture she has known for years, reminded of the many days she spent playing here when she was still a child, feeling tall and powerful, the world left for her to conquer and explore, a single soul waiting for her on the other side of the glass. but what she's always loved about this place is how clear the sky is, as if the clouds were floating below them, hiding them from the rest of the world for a short instant. 

  
  


and yet the sky isn't as radiant as she remembers today, a vibrant blue gone with the hopes the child she once was used to have. it's grey, plain, announcing a soon-to-come falling rain, but it doesn't change the fact that this is the most beautiful picture she could look at today, at least not unless she wants to be brought back into an infernal spiral. 

  
  


the sky is emotionless and empty, nothing quite like the world. 

  
  


sana knows that if she were to walk closer to the window in order to look down and observe the city she was born and raised in, she would see colors of all intensities coming from joyful smiles and liquid happiness falling from the clouds in soft and comforting drops. so she stays seated behind her father's desk, and watches from afar, avoiding what she knows she will never have. someone knocks on the office door and she barely registers them quietly slipping into the room, only looking up from the light grey canvas when the smell of coffee begins to burn her tongue. 

  
  


"oh, thank you." bowing her head slightly at who she remembers to be her father's secretary, sana eyes the fuming beverage with focused attention. "is father not coming?"

  
  


"i-i'm very sorry, miss minatozaki." she says, stuttering as she tries to avoid looking at sana in the eyes- not that she would mind, she has never been fond of the rules and protocols her father likes to stick to and would rather be treated as an equal than as some sort of royalty. "he will not be leaving his meeting for the next hour or so." 

  
  


sana sighs, standing up and grabbing her coffee as she follows the tall woman whose name she unfortunately does not remember out of the office, pursing her lips when she realizes she spent the last thirty minutes waiting for someone who, it seems, will not bother with giving her any kind of attention unless she's begging for it.

  
  


"tell him his daughter would like to speak to him soon. it's important, although i'm not sure that will make him change his schedule." and after a last discreet smile that serves in lightening the mood, she enters the private elevator, still annoyed. 

  
  


his absence is not the reason behind her sour mood, no, this is something she'd expected the second he texted her, promising to be there after a short meeting. what explains her lack of enthusiasm regarding the rest of her day- and of her life, if she were to be as pessimistic as her heart wishes for her to be- is the same mark that burns on her arm. 

  
  


it used to be easy to ignore, when she still had time, when there was still hope. 

  
  


taking a sip of her coffee, the sour taste making her cringe. she sighs when the doors open and reaches for her phone in order to text her driver. her plans for the rest of the day are quite light, and she supposes she could immediately go home although it might not be the greatest of ideas, especially if it means she will be left alone to face tormenting thoughts and anxiety-inducing worries. 

  
  


the mark on her arms only burns more intensely as she exits the building, putting on her shades- not that the sun is shining at all, but they tend to make it easier for her to ignore the loving couples she will without a doubt encounter. but the problem is that it also means she doesn't see everyone coming her way, quite like the woman she only notices right after she has walked into her. 

  
  


"oh god, what-" 

  
  


a gasp cuts her off and she immediately takes her glasses off, staring with wide eyes at the woman she just collided with, and only then noticing that the coffee cup she had been drinking from is now very much empty, and the white shirt of the short-haired woman very much stained in brown. 

  
  


"oh no, no, not today…" the woman whines as soon as she looks down to notice what sana had been staring at, scared of a burning sensation that never comes, surely because sana has never been fond of burning hot coffees. 

  
  


"i'm so, so sorry!" sana tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, alarmingly staring at the growing stain on the white shirt. "i didn't see you coming."

  
  


"it-it's not your fault, i wasn't looking either." the woman looks up then, sparkling eyes that cause her breath to catch for a short, almost noticeable instant, warm chocolate eyes that are hard to look away from. she could swear she's never seen this woman before, and yet something about the warmth coming from her eyes is familiar. she can only watch as she huffs in frustration, trying- and failing- to get the stain to disappear. "i have an important meeting on the other side of town, but i guess i can't go anymore. god, why was i not careful enough!" 

  
  


and really, sana could have just walked away with one last apology. but something kept her from doing just that, something she's not sure she could ever explain, and she reaches for the woman's arm right before she walks back to where she came from. her skin tingles when it connects with hers, and she blushes, pulling her hand back right after.

  
  


"i could help." it seems to work in catching the woman's attention, and she sighs, motioning for her to follow. "my driver can bring you there and he'll stop by a shop to buy you a new shirt on the way. i'm sure we can arrive on time." 

  
  


and although she seems reticent to the idea at first, wide eyes going from the car to sana and repeating the process a few times, she finishes by nodding in acceptance when sana insists a bit more.

  
  


that's how she finds herself with a woman she doesn't know, going to a part of town she's not familiar with at all, fidgeting in the back and trying not to make her glances too obvious. neither of them has said a word to each other ever since they slipped into the car, and the separation window between them and her dear driver, a man her father hired for her close to a decade ago, is only making the situation more awkward. this is definitely not how she planned for her day to go, and she's not sure this is better than spending an hour lounging in her bath back home, but she does not have much of a choice anymore.

  
  


not when she was clearly the one walking into this poor woman and ruining her chances of being taken seriously at whatever meeting she was going. thinking of this makes her realize this could be a great topic to start a discussion and she finally turns from the window to face her. 

  
  


"what is your meeting about, by the way? well, it's perfectly alright if you don't tell me, of course. i wouldn't want to be too invasive, especially after what happened. you probably don't want to talk to-"

  
  


"a job interview." the woman cuts her off before she can voice out any more of her worries, and she breathes a sigh of relief, nodding attentively. "this is the first one i'm confident about, that's why i dressed so nicely. and, also why i felt so down about missing it." 

  
  


the car comes to a stop and sana does not have the time to ask her any more questions as her driver asks her about which size he should get the shirt in. they're both once again left in silence while he's gone, the only sound coming from nayeon's leg which bounces nervously and in rhythm with sana's racing heart every time they make eye contact. she's usually been a lot better at interacting with people, or at least that's what her father has always told her when he insisted on her presence by his side during galas to be absolutely necessary. but something about this woman is different, and she can't bring herself to calm down. 

  
  


"i'm really sorry about all of this." the woman speaks up again after a while, but this time, she refuses to look at sana. "i'm sure you had better things to do today than to bring a random girl to a job interview on the other side of town." 

  
  


"you would be surprised by how little things i had planned today. or, on any other day, really." 

  
  


sana hears what sounds very much like a light chuckle coming from the other side of the car and a smile she has no control over graces her lips, the sound as heartwarming as the idea of a burning hot bath with one of the many pink jasmine scented bath bombs she bought from boredom the other day. her pulse slows down, and with it her apprehension fades away, but she's still feeling as if this woman she has briefly met and will surely never see again will turn out to be a lot more important to her life than planned. 

  
  


"i suppose i would, yes. be surprised, that is. i would expect someone like you to be one of the busiest women in this city, and perhaps even in the country." 

  
  


it's an acknowledgment that her identity has not slipped from this woman's mind, something she had not even considered before, but it doesn't surprise her either. there are more people aware of who she is than there are who do not have an idea of what her family name means, and she supposes it's her fault for thinking this woman was not like the others. "but i also expected you to be cold and insensitive from what the tabloids have always said, and i get the feeling that is far from being the truth."

  
  


and when such things would have annoyed her in the past, sana simply shakes her head, biting back a laugh that threatens to spill at any moment. whoever this woman is, she now knows at least one detail of her personality. boldness. 

  
  


"should i take this as a compliment?" 

  
  


"i'll let you figure that out on your own." 

  
  


controlling her laughter is impossible now and she snickers lightly, playfully rolling her eyes, and the mood only dies down back to seriousness when the door opens on nayeon's side again and a simple white silken shirt is put in her hands. 

  
  


"i'll turn so you can change, the windows are all tinted. unless you want me to leave-"

  
  


"n-no, it's fine."

  
  


and the rustle of clothes is the signal she needs to know not to stare at her. she closes her eyes for a bit, facing the window, but that means her hearing is entirely focused on the undressing woman, so she decides to open them again, which might not have been the best of ideas. not when the same window she's staring into also reflects her image, pale uncovered skin hard to ignore although she tries to focus on the moving cars passing next to her. 

  
  


that is, until something catches her eyes. 

  
  


three orchid flowers. 

  
  


a dark magenta-like pink she knows better than anyone on this earth. or at least, that's what she believed until now.

  
  


sana had believed for the major part of her life that her soulmate was simply waiting for her. but a few years ago, when no one came and when she came to no one, she started believing that her soulmate simply did not want her. and recently, she began considering the possibility of her soulmate no longer existing, an interpretation she made from the fading tattoo on her inner arm. 

  
  


and yet, she knows what she's seeing, right on her collarbone. she knows, because she has herself stared at the very same mark all of her life. 

  
  


she turns to face her then, wanting to make sure her eyes are not simply deceiving her, offering an oasis of hope to her after the never-ending days, months, years, she has spent alone, walking in an empty desert and waiting for a sign. the woman avoids her stare, quickly bringing the new shirt over her shoulders and buttoning it up, the deep blush on her cheeks telling her everything she should know. 

  
  


the car begins moving again, and each light they pass, each button of the shirt she reaches, each and everyone one of her breath feels like a countdown to both her first and last chance to find out who she is destined to. but the words are stuck in her throat, and she can only stare, slack-jawed, as the last button is reached, and the vehicle once again comes to a stop, this one the last one, the last opportunity, or the last memory if she does not get a grip over her own emotions. 

  
  


"thank you a lot for the ride, i own a lot to you." bowing her head and refusing to look up at sana, the woman opens the door and begins to slip out of the car, but sana finally decides she can not let her. not if she doesn't want to regret this for the rest of her life.

  
  


a hand closes around her wrist and the woman pauses, back still turned to sana. she's trembling, and that's enough, enough for her to know that ruining all of this would only take a single wrong move, a single word. 

  
  


"what's your name?" she asks, her breathing having almost entirely stopped as she waits, hopes, for an answer. 

  
  


the woman turns to face her one last time, already halfway out of the car, and her stare is different now, the warmth almost gone. an unreadable light sparkles in her eyes this time, and sana has never been so unsure about what to expect from someone before this moment. 

  
  


"im nayeon." 

  
  


the last memory she has of her soulmate is the image of a tight-lipped smile, and of her back turned to her as she entered a building. 

  
  


but what really matters to her now, is that this was the first more than it was the last one.

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


sana isn't sure of what to do.

  
  


her heart is screaming for her to find out everything she can about this im nayeon, for her to call the private investigator her family has always been familiar with and ask him for information. meanwhile her mind is keeping her from doing anything, overthinking as always. 

  
  


she wants to get to know nayeon, wants to love her as much as she has always silently loved the image she had of her soulmate. 

  
  


but she also wants to know why after all these years, a woman who has clearly seen and heard of her chose to stay away. to keep herself from meeting her soulmate, something that has always been seen as the main goal of every one's life in society. being with your soulmate isn't simply about dating and being bonded to someone forever while following the usual wedding-children routine. it's about finding someone you were made to be with, may it be love of a romantic or of a platonic kind. 

  
  


and nayeon had clearly not wanted any of 

this.

  
  


and truly, sana wants to respect that. but she also wants to make sure she's not just assuming anything here, wants to hear it from nayeon herself before she decides to entirely give up on ever being with her soulmate. 

  
  


which is why she calls the private investigator a few days after their first meeting, days she has spent with only one name, one face, one tattoo in mind. but unfortunately for her, he does not come back with much. 

  
  


"there's not much to say, miss minatozaki. her family lives just outside of seoul, her mother works as a nurse, didn't find anything about her father. she's living with a woman in a small apartment and has been going from small jobs to small jobs. that's about it."

  
  


sana pauses on one of the pages, the files he gave to her thin and clearly lacking much information, staring at a woman nayeon is hugging, her face not very visible from the angle of the picture. her heart skips a beat, and she worries her lip between her teeth, scared of what she might soon find out about nayeon. scared that her soulmate has already found everything she was searching for.

  
  


"who is this?" 

  
  


"yoo jeongyeon. a friend, from what i understand." 

  
  


she breathes a sigh of relief then, her worries finally gone although she knows the possibility of nayeon already having someone in her life can not be entirely pushed aside. her eyes land on a phone number when she reaches the last page, and she traces the digits with a finger, pensive.

  
  


"thank you for this, you can go now."

  
  


and it only is when she's in the bathtub a few hours after that, contemplating a picture of nayeon leaving her apartment building, that sana grabs her phone and does what she has been thinking about for so long. 

  
  


she texts nayeon, and waits. 

  
  


until the water turns cold and the time has come for her to slip under the warm sheets of her bed, alone, a contrasting coldness spreading in her heart as her text stays unanswered, and with it her soulmate marks aches on her arm. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


jeongyeon rushes in nayeon's bedroom, excitedly waving with her phone in hand, and she doesn't need to ask to know what happened. 

  
  


"we got her!" she throws the phone to her, sitting on the edge of the bed, and waits for her to read the text she has seemingly just received from sana. it took her a few days, longer than she thought it would when they came up with this plan, and she had started to believe it had failed. that sana had realized the mark on her collarbone was fake, or at least not an exact replica of her own. or worse, that she believed nayeon hated her and didn't want anything to do with her- when the reality is quite the contrary of that.

  
  


"come on, you need to reply right now to plan to meet up as soon as possible." jeongyeon shakes her shoulder gently to bring her back to the present when her friend looks lost in thoughts, and nayeon nods slowly, quickly typing a reply to sana's simple 'hey, it's sana. can we talk?'. this isn't hard for her to do, not after she and jeongyeon have spent the last few months rehearsing the character she should be portraying to the point where she's not sure she ever slips out of the role anymore. 

  
  


"told her we could see each other at the café you work at, that way you'll be here to make sure everything goes well. but i'll wait to send it, i should probably not seem too excited." nayeon turns the device off once again, a wide smile replacing her previous scowl when she realizes they've made it, finally, after so many worries and doubts. 

  
  


it's all a question of time now, until sana's jewelry collection worth hundreds of millions of dollars ends up in their hands, and they can finally stop worrying about having to pay for rent and skipping meals. all a question of controlling her emotions, and being the perfect soulmate anyone would ever ask for, no matter how new the 

experience will be to her. 

  
  


"can't believe we did it." jeongyeon says, bringing her in a soft hug nayeon is happy to return. "we'll be getting out of this hell place in no time."

  
  


nayeon doesn't reply but her thoughts are similar, her mind imagining a large and clean apartment in the middle of a city, far away from here, surrounded by parks and chic restaurants instead of the bars they have grown accustomed to. imagining herself going back to college, finally being able to quit the multiple part-time jobs she has, sometimes going over there at the same time, in order to focus on what she loves. 

  
  


she imagines herself in sana's place, wonders how different her life would have been had she been born in wealth and riches instead. and when her phone vibrates over the sheets next morning and jeongyeon rushes in her room to hug her again, tears of joy glistening in hopeful eyes, nayeon realizes she does not need to image this anymore.

  
  


soon, it will all be a reality. soon, sana's privileges will be the least of her worries, because she'll have made sure to get a taste of her own of this life, one she intends on getting, and on keeping.

  
  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


the small café jeongyeon works at has rarely seen anyone as fancy as sana pass through its doors, a lot more acquainted with bored cops and teenagers who once in a while try to steal from her. so it isn't unnatural for everyone to stop whatever they were doing to stare at her, eyes widening when they land on a black louis vuitton bag she keeps close to herself. 

  
  


most people here know who she is- and she's not sure it's positive at all, not when the only times they discuss her and her father is to mention how much they'd love to rob her of a few cars and bags in order to pay their bills. but as jeongyeon watches her intently, preparing a simple cappuccino as she approaches the counter, she believes sana is not entirely oblivious to this aspect of their neighborhood. or else she probably would not be glancing back behind herself every few seconds, as if scared someone might jump on her.

  
  


"hi, a nayeon is waiting for me. do you know where i can find her?" sana's voice isn't as high pitched as she'd believed, and certainly not as annoying. she sounds almost shy, like a teenager going on a secret date with her first girlfriend, and she supposes it must be true, in a way. sana has never appeared in the media with anyone under her arm, and neither of them was oblivious enough to believe the many rumors random men she never even met spread about being in a relationship with her. 

  
  


sana is the type of woman nayeon and jeongyeon despise. someone who spends a lifetime waiting for a single person, for the sole reason that a tattoo on her arm told her so. their lives are based on surviving in order to spend another day in a place they wish to see burning, a day that might even be worse than the previous ones. but people like sana have nothing but searching for a soulmate to worry about.

  
  


"nayeon?" she asks, pretending to search for her for a short instant. "ah, yeah she arrived a few minutes ago. she's in the back, already ordered for you."

  
  


it's all she says before going back to the cappuccino she was preparing, bringing it to an old man whose name she has never bothered to ask although he is a regular here. 

  
  


sana understands that's her clue to leave- and certainly didn't want to remain in the middle of the place, for everyone to stare at, anymore. her steps are fast as she walks towards the indicated direction, and only get quicker when she finally spots nayeon, her outfit this time a lot more modest, sana excitedly waving at her as a soft apprehensive smile graces her lips from the sight of who she believes to be her soulmate, sipping a cup of hot chocolate. 

  
  


"hi, you're here." nayeon stands up as soon as she notices sana, awkwardly reaching for a handshake sana eagerly returns. it's certainly not the amount of affection sana would have wanted, but it's all she should do in the beginning. "i ordered us the same thing, i hope you don't mind hot chocolate." 

  
  


but when she tries to pull her hand back to sit back down, sana is still holding onto hers, unfocused eyes staring right back at her with a dreamy look dancing in brown orbs. nayeon coughs lightly, a light blush spreading on her cheeks although this is something she can't control, and a simple glance at the rest of the café tells her everything she should know about how little privacy they'll have here.

  
  


suddenly realizing she has been holding her hand for longer than platonically acceptable- not that nayeon even is her friend- sana pulls away, a blush of her own spreading up to her ears as she takes the seat in front of nayeon's, hands settling on the warm burning cup. 

  
  


"it's more than okay, i'm sure i'll love anything you decide to get me." she takes an appreciative sip of the beverage right after to prove her point, and when she places the cup back down, the urge to reach for nayeon's hand again is too intense to be ignored. but she stays immobile on her seat, gripping the cup even if it burns her palm. the burn is almost soothing compared to the fear taking over her heart and her mind, and she has to take a deep breath before continuing. "but you should have waited for me to order anything, i wanted to be the one to invite you. i suppose we'll have to meet up again for me to do that."

  
  


nayeon raises an eyebrow in front of her unexpected boldness, chuckling lightly as a natural smile replaces her earlier confusion. 

  
  


"if that's really something you want to do, then sure, so be it."

  
  


"it is." 

  
  


the silence that follows is not awkward but heavy, one that seems to speak for itself a lot more than words ever could. nayeon sighs, adjusting the scarf around her neck- one that is supposed to hide the soulmate mark that is under it- and the motion catches sana's eyes as they settle over the exact spot where the orchids are supposed to be. she does not say anything, but doesn't look away either, not even when nayeon awkwardly smiles at her again. 

  
  


her stare is almost intimidating, as if unconsciously warning her of the consequences of what she's doing, the main one being sana wholeheartedly falling for her and never getting over it. secondary ones mostly involving her and jeongyeon having to spend the next years in jail- if they ever manage to get out. 

  
  


"so, what did you want to talk about?" she finally finishes by asking, brushing her short hair back when it falls in front of her eyes, shielding sana from her view. 

  
  


"i think you know, nayeon." sana sighs, before slipping her coat off, her arms bare from the simple red dress she is wearing, a choice clearly made so that she could easily show her inner arm to nayeon. and without any surprise, a small green branch with three orchid flowers attached to it greets her. "i think you knew about this long before i did, actually."

  
  


and for a second, nayeon believes sana to have found out about everything, from the whole scene with the coffee on her shirt, something they'd planned for weeks, to how slow she was when dressing in the new shirt, waiting for the moment sana would open her eyes and see exactly what she was supposed to. but then sana smiles at her as if nothing but her mattered, stars flickering in her eyes as she obviously waits for nayeon to take her scarf off. and she understands that's not what she meant.

  
  


"for how long have you known we were soulmates? how many months or years has it been?" she sounds almost hurt then, her voice threatening to break before she clears her throat. "i-i'm not mad. but i want to know why… please." 

  
  


nayeon looks away from sana then, staring at jeongyeon who gives her a thumbs up on the other side of the room before she goes back to wiping a glass clean. this is certainly the hardest part of their plan, the moment that will dictate how everything else goes. 

  
  


"have you seen me?" nayeon says, thanking the many years of acting she's done back in school. "i'm not like you. and i'm definitely not who you would want to have as a soulmate. i mean, have you seen where i live and what i do for a living? you're more than out of my league and… i always believed you would hate me if you ever found out i was your soulmate. and even then, i wouldn't have blamed you for it."

  
  


looking down at her hands in order to avoid her stare, nayeon waits for things to either get ruined, or for them to finally be entirely set into motion. her heart is beating faster than it ever has in her chest and she's pretty sure she has never been so anxious in her life. until sana's hands settle over hers, and a liberating warmth spreads in her heart, slowly calming it down. the gesture is soft and loving, something nayeon is not familiar with, which she believes might explain why she feels so disoriented suddenly. 

  
  


"i would have loved you either way. as long as you would have allowed me to, i would have been so happy to finally find you, nayeon. and this, this is something i couldn't care less about." there are tears shining in her eyes, and the sunlight coming from the window they're sitting next to only adds to the heartwarming aura sana is always surrounded by. "will you… give me a chance to prove that to you?"

  
  


nayeon pretends to think about it for a moment, because pretending is all this is about, after all. 

  
  


and when she slips her scarf off, revealing the soulmate mark jeongyeon drew on her collarbone this morning, she nods, squeezing her hands in an affectionate gesture of her own. 

  
  


"i can try." 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


the next time she sees sana, she finds an entirely different woman, one she had never expected to see in her. 

  
  


the most noticeable- although light- change is her outfit, sana walking up to her in a simple pair of jeans and a basic white shirt devoid of any luxury brand name. and for the first time since they met, she does not feel out of place when walking side by side with one of the country's richest women, not even when the eyes of many land on them and clearly recognize who she is, curiously staring at nayeon. 

  
  


"i got us reservations in a pizzeria not far from here. but i thought, we could try to get to know each other first. there's a park, not far from here. i mean, only if you're alright with this-"

  
  


sensing that her nervousness is getting out of hand, nayeon cuts her off by reaching for her hand, holding onto it tightly and succeeding in getting sana to relax judging by the way she pauses, looking at her with slight confusion that quickly gets overtaken by the joy of living such a moment. "i'm alright with anything you want to do. i trust you."

  
  


she resumes walking then, sana having no choice but to follow if she wants to keep on holding her hand. there's a dreamy look in her eyes for the rest of the day, and nayeon barely has to give her any details about the life she and jeongyeon created together, the one she rehearsed before joining her for their first date. it makes it all so much easier for her, to not have to lie to someone she is quickly discovering to be anything but what she had first imagined, and she's almost able to forget that all of this is just for show. 

  
  


a few days ago, she met sana for the first time after months of watching her every move, of trying to find a way to get close enough to her to bring their plans to an undeniable success. and yet, the woman she is with today is nothing quite like she had imagined. the one who refuses to let go of her hand even when she has to reach for two ice creams, the one who stares at the mark on her collarbone as if that was all that ever mattered and who looks so wholeheartedly in love with her, all of this after a few hours spent in each other's company, she's not the superficial heiress neither of them had expected to be facing, and for a reason that makes it all so much harder for nayeon.

  
  


she realizes that she dislikes lying to her. that when sana leans onto her shoulder and asks her about her life, about jeongyeon, lying leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. certainly because she's far from being a professional, years of acting in school plays not enough for someone to entirely pretend to be someone else without feeling a part of guilt at some point. 

  
  


but nayeon knows there's no going back now, knows that she can't let jeongyeon down. so she pushes through and thinks of all of the useless wealth sana keeps, thinks of it being hers, and everything suddenly is a lot easier. 

  
  


"should we go now? you made reservations, i wouldn't want us to be late." nayeon asks after a while, time going a lot faster than she had first expected by sana's side. they've been sitting here, on a bench in the middle of a park she'd never bothered with putting a foot into, for what must be close to an hour now. neither of them has really said much during that time, instead focusing on their surroundings, on appreciating a moment that might not last forever although they both hope for it to be the first of many. 

  
  


and sana really does not seem to want to leave. 

  
  


"just… just a bit more." sana's voice is soft, barely loud enough for nayeon to hear it even in the quietness of the evening, the birds having stopped their singing long ago. she leans further into her hold, her head now almost tucked in her neck, and closes her eyes, as if the warmth and peacefulness nayeon brought to her was unlike anything else this world has to offer. 

  
  


and it's in this convivial and harmonious atmosphere that nayeon believes that had she been sana's actual soulmate, this would have been enough. her calm and peaceful features, her soft breathing hitting the sensitive side of her neck in sync with her slowly beating heart, her pure and hopeful wish to be with her, with someone she barely knows, no matter any of their differences. 

  
  


all of this would be enough for anyone to fall for sana. 

  
  


even nayeon. 

  
  


"okay. a bit more it is then." 

  
  


they never got to the restaurant sana made reservations at, and when they leave the park a few hours later, she leaves a piece of her heart in sana's hand when they finally pull away from each other. 

  
  


(nayeon doesn't realize it, isn't aware of what happened. 

  
  


she doesn't yet know that this part of her heart is one she will never get back, not until sana gives her one of her own.

  
  


but the day will come for her to find out about all of this and a lot more. and it will probably be too late for her heart to ever be whole again.)

  
  


(sana had always believed in a myth that said soulmates are born from the same star, a star that let go of two souls at the same time and had them swear to always come back to each other.

  
  


and as she walks hand in hand with nayeon and looks up at the dark and endless night sky, sana can not help but believe she and nayeon fell from the same star.)

  
  


the next time she sees sana, she's exactly as she expected her to be. 

  
  


"i felt bad about having to cancel our reservations last week, so i made new ones in an even better place. you're gonna love it." she reaches for her hand herself this time, overdressed next to nayeon who tried to find the fanciest outfit she owned, a simple white floral spring dress jeongyeon bought for her job interviews awhile ago. "let's go now, i hope you're hungry."

  
  


and nayeon really isn't, not when she knows she's going to have to pretend to be someone else for the day, not when the possibility of all of this blowing up in her face is still there, at all times, serving as an eternal warning. that is, until an appetizing lunch is served to them, lamb in her plate and beef in sana's, no more than a few minutes after they arrive in a restaurant that makes her feel entirely out of place. 

  
  


sana seems to sense her uneasiness, as if the fake soulmate mark on her skin was actually connected to the one on her inner arm, and immediately tries to reassure her by getting her attention.

  
  


"so, how is it?" she asks, bringing a small piece of beef into a cream-colored sauce nayeon could not name. "first time eating lamb?"

  
  


"yes, it's great." nayeon nods although absentmindedly, still scanning the area and finding familiar faces everywhere- not of people who are close to her, but of celebrities and politicians she knows she must have seen somewhere. "thank you a lot for the meal, i couldn't ever have afforded to eat… here." 

  
  


and surprisingly, when she looks back at sana, a fork is waiting for her, sana smiling brightly as she brings it to her lips, clearly expecting nayeon to taste what she supposes to be the world's most expensive and certainly best beef. 

  
  


the blush that spreads on her cheeks when she accepts the gesture, lips closing around the fork, is not one done on purpose, and she desperately tries to keep it from getting too intense as sana watches her getting the first taste of her meal, waiting for a verdict. 

  
  


"it's… amazing." her smile is impossible to stop then, and nayeon is beginning to wonder if she has had to force any of her reaction during the time she has spent with sana today, or if all of them were absolutely natural. "want to try some of mine?"

  
  


sana looks surprised then, not having expected nayeon to reciprocate, but eagerly accepts the offer. she lets out a light moan when the taste of lamb and a soft honey sauce hits her, and when she opens her eyes again, nayeon's cheeks are a deep red and she refuses to look up from her plate again for the rest of their lunch. 

  
  


after this, everything goes a lot faster.

  
  


they're both sad to have to watch the other leave after the small dates sana brings nayeon on, and on more than one occasion nayeon wonders if she shouldn't try to get sana to ask her to join her at her place. not because she particularly wants to take that step in a relationship that does not even exist yet, but because this is where lies their final goal, her jewelry collection. 

  
  


there was no way for them to know if it was easily accessible once granted access in the mansion sana lives in, and nayeon knows having sana invite her over is the only way. it has been in the center of their plan all along, but they had unfortunately missed out on a tiny detail- sana refuses to rush things and would rather take a walk by a lake for hours while they share earphones, a soft melody making the moment all the more magical, then to ask nayeon for them to take the next step.

  
  


so nayeon decides to take matters into her own hands one evening when they're both quiet in sana's car, leaving from another fancy restaurant they both spent the evening in. 

  
  


sana isn't facing her, always staring by the window at the night sky and the busy streets as if this was such a fascinating sight she couldn't look away from it. when in reality, she's worrying her bottom lip between her teeth in order to ignore the urge to kiss nayeon until they're both left breathless. 

  
  


despite her mind telling her to wait, that all of this is happening too fast- although she has had way faster relationships in the past- the deepest parts of her are only asking for one thing: for her to turn around and do what she deeply desires. it has been that way for quite some time now, certainly after their first date finished and she found herself alone, again, missing nayeon's presence more than she'd ever missed anyone. she had wondered about what it would feel like then, to kiss nayeon, to do more than hold hands and hope for her to not suddenly let go. 

  
  


the answer had been simple. her soulmate mark had burned pleasantly, and she believes that's what it would be like, to feel nayeon's lips against her own. it would burn in the most pleasurable of ways and consume her whole in a delicate fire.

  
  


"sana… i've been thinking about something." nayeon interrupts the silence of the ride, her hand settling on sana's thigh, the fabric of her pantsuit soft under her palm. that catches her attention, and she immediately reaches for nayeon's hand, turning it to slip her fingers between hers. 

  
  


there's apprehension in her eyes and nayeon realizes exactly what that might sound like. but in reality, even if all of this had nothing to do with their plans, she's not sure she would have made a different decision than the one she's about to make. in all honesty, nayeon does not sleep well at night. but the reason behind this is not from her feeling guilty about all of this, the hope she's giving to sana, being a lie. 

  
  


no, it's about how scared she is of this having to end.

  
  


"it's not that, no, i'm not going to leave or anything." she is quick to reassure, tightening the hold on her hand. "i've just been wanting to do that." 

  
  


and without giving her any time to think about what  _ that _ might be, nayeon closes the distance left between them. 

  
  


sana doesn't react at first, her lips frozen against nayeon's, but she has no doubts about this changing very soon. which is why nayeon doesn't pull away immediately, instead closing her eyes, all of her senses now entirely focused on the short but nonetheless soft kiss. that is, until sana seems to get back to herself, finally understanding what's happening and returning the kiss, this time a lot more intensely. 

  
  


her hand naturally settles on nayeon's jaw, holding her close as if having to pull away from this kiss would be her end, and nayeon smiles against her lips, sana barely noticing it from her mind being entirely taken by the softness of plump lips and the fragility of the moment. both having their eyes closed, they don't notice that the car stopped, and nothing from the outside world would succeed in getting them to move away from each other, not when all of this feels so right, not when sana's heart burns harder than three orchid flowers she had grown to despise and is now learning to love. 

  
  


nayeon is the one to push her away, but she barely spends enough time away from her to catch her breath before sana's lips are back over hers, this time deepening the kiss a lot faster. their tongues begin a dance of their own, a slow and loving one, and sana bites down on her lip softly before pulling away for good this time, eyelids slipping open and staring at her in disbelief. none of this makes sense in her mind, and it now is nothing but a confused mess of feelings. 

  
  


gently caressing nayeon's cheek, she leaves one last kiss on her lips, ending it with another small one on the tip of her nose, and waits for her to speak. 

  
  


"your place?" is nayeon's only reaction, and certainly not the one sana had expected. she freezes for a short instant, gauging nayeon's expression and trying to find regret there. but when the only thing she can see is deep want and begging eyes, sana finally makes up her mind. 

  
  


she pushes a button on the privacy window and whispers a simple "my place" to her driver, and a few seconds later, the car is on the road again towards what neither of them expected the night to end like. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


nayeon only has one thing to do, and jeongyeon made that clear. she has to look around the place and find out everything she can about the mansion, from a security system to guards and more. 

  
  


but unfortunately for their plans, everything did not go as expected. 

  
  


mostly because sana's lips haven't detached themselves from nayeon's during the ride, and only briefly did so when they arrived in order to step out of the midnight black car. ever since that moment, she can't remember having spent more than a second away from the woman's touches. and contrary to what she will tell jeongyeon tomorrow, she isn't sorry about this at all. 

  
  


not when sana pushes her against the wall as soon as they step into the house, a digital code she didn't even bother trying to see opening the front door and with it welcoming nayeon into a world she never thought she would encounter. she might not be aware of her surroundings but the vase that falls down to the floor as her back hits the wall does sound like three months worth of her salary, although sana clearly does not care. both are lost in each other's aura, with the same needs and ideas in mind, and nothing will stop them from getting there. 

  
  


not even the broken objects they leave in their wake, accompanied by all sorts of clothes as nayeon begins to undress sana when she realizes that the woman is being a bit more on the shy side than she'd believed. 

  
  


right before they enter sana's bedroom, now both left in nothing but their underwear, and nayeon once again feeling out of place when her eyes travel down sana's body and realize just how amazing the light pink lingerie she chose for their date is, she remembers to search for the room in which she keeps what she should actually be interested in. but a bite at the base of her neck is enough to get her eyelids to fall back shut and she decides to ignore her duties for the night, to get to experience this once.

  
  


all of this is probably unnecessary to her initial mission, nayeon thinks, when sana finally gives her break, staring down at her, panting, right before she reaches behind her for the clasp of her bra, and that's probably dangerous for her as much as it is for sana. their relationship was not supposed to go further than a stolen kiss in a car and a few make-out sessions on her couch that would allow nayeon to spot any hidden cameras. but once again, her heart had made an entirely different choice. 

  
  


and that's the problem.

  
  


she should not be thinking with her heart to begin with, but even if she were to be doing that, it should not be choosing sana over jeongyeon, over their future, over the reason they are both risking their lives for this. and yet, it's almost like there was never a choice to be made. like that's how it was supposed to be all along. 

  
  


"we can stop now." sana says, her voice a lot deeper now than it was a few minutes ago, a reflection of the deepness nayeon finds in her eyes when she finally opens her own. "i don't want you to go too fast if-"

  
  


nayeon shuts her up with a kiss again, and she believes that's her new favorite thing to do, especially when it leaves sana breathless on top of her. "shut up." she says with a light smirk, tucking a strand of short brown hair behind sana's ear as if to admire the woman laying on top of her. she sees the moment sana looks down to stare at the mark right below her shoulders, and sees the tears pooling in her eyes a second later. 

  
  


and in that instant, as sana leaves one last kiss on her lips before traveling down her body, pausing at her collarbone to kiss the three flowers, nayeon almost feels like all of this is real. if she tries hard enough and closes her eyes, she can imagine that the tattoo on her shoulder is not made from cheap ink, that sana was always meant to be hers. and it feels so right, so true, that nayeon decides to allow herself to live in this fantasy that will never come true, just for one night, even if it only breaks her in the end. 

  
  


sana's lips make her forget about her own life, until their journey ends and she laughs when they tickle her inner thighs, sana only chuckling against her skin as she slides her underwear down her legs. 

  
  


"can i speak now?" she asks, hovering over her center and looking up at a blushing nayeon. 

  
  


"hm no," nayeon pretends to think about it, bringing a hand to tangle with sana's hair as she pushes her head forward."i think you have other things to busy yourself with." 

  
  


in the middle of the night, when sana is still awake and has long ago tired nayeon out until she fell asleep in her arms, she contemplates the idea of this sight becoming a regular one. nayeon, attached to her side, with a smile gracing her lips even in her sleep. 

  
  


and as her eyelids reluctantly slip shut, hiding nayeon from her view, the answer is ringing loudly in her ears. 

  
  


the years she spent waiting for her soulmate, sometimes coming so close to giving up that she'd almost contemplated the idea of getting rid of her tattoo, were all meant to bring her to that one moment. 

  
  


and it was entirely worth it. 

  
  


(nayeon dreams of having a soulmate on that night. 

  
  


it's nothing new, she used to make such dreams often when she was still a child, hoping for a tattoo to appear on her wrist, crying disappointedly every morning when she looked at herself in the mirror to find nothing but an empty canvas on her skin. 

  
  


but tonight, her soulmate has a face, a laugh, a feel. 

  
  


tonight, it's real. 

  
  


and even if her dreams are the only place in which it is, nayeon will be happy. because nighttime rendezvous with sana as her soulmate is better than the empty shell the harshness of reality leaves her heart in.)

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


"how have you been spending entire days at her place and still have no valuable information we can use for the final day?" jeongyeon scoffs, staring at nayeon in disbelief as she watches her best friend pack her suitcase. she's going to be staying at sana's place for the week and although they will probably only see each other late at night when she'll come back from her shifts, they both agreed on this being the best way for them to frequent each other. "i don't intend on staying here any longer than planned, nayeon. you need to do something, take some risks, i don't know. but this is not going to work for much longer."

  
  


"i swear i tried but- it's just not that simple, she won't let go of me for more than a single minute." and nayeon knows that's not true. if anything, she's the one staying by sana's side all the time, trying to live each of the moments they spend together as if they were the last ones. because they are in a way, the last ones she will get to experience with sana, and she hates thinking that someday, soon, this will end. 

  
  


"well do something about it. the whole point of this was not to get you a sugar mommy but for us to get out of here." 

  
  


and without looking back at her best friend, jeongyeon walks out of the room, clearly angry and disappointed, and nayeon realizes the time has come for her to honor the promise she made to her when they first came up with this idea.

  
  


that no matter what happens, it will always be about the two of them and no one will ever come in between.

  
  


nayeon sighs, folding another shirt she believes sana will like, and finally comes to the conclusion that this can't go on for much longer.

  
  


the next time she finds herself in sana's home, she asks for a tour. it's innocent enough, and sana has never shown her the mansion although it's very large and she has probably not even been in ten percent of it. and of course sana is more than happy to give her a tour, one that pauses when they reach an indoor swimming pool when she suddenly gets the idea of testing the temperature of the water, something that ends with them both taking an improvised swim, one that finishes with sana trying to keep her own moans quiet by kissing nayeon.

  
  


that tour is only half helpful, but when it reaches an end and sana brings her into her closet is when nayeon finally finds what she was searching for. a small safe. the perfect place for someone to keep jewelry worth millions.

  
  


her eyes must linger on it a bit too obviously because sana pauses in her talk about the designer dresses she recently received and glances at it as well.

  
  


"oh, that? that's where i keep my precious treasure." she says laughing, and reaches for nayeon's wrist, tugging her closer to the safe. "want to see what's in there?"

  
  


"no, you don't have to do that. this is probably private." 

  
  


but sana is already entering her code, in plain view for nayeon to see, and it echoes in her head like a promise to never forget. what she finds there once the door opens is even more than they had both believed, perfectly organized rings and necklaces made of rare shining diamonds and of the heaviest kind of gold. nayeon is too busy with taking in the newly revealed sight to notice what sana is doing until she turns around, something shining in her hand, and reaches for nayeon. 

  
  


"here, i want you to have that one." 

  
  


slowly, she slips the simple and discreet ring on one of her fingers, clapping in her hands in joy when it fits her perfectly, and nayeon is left frozen to stare at the tiny diamonds that encircle her finger.

  
  


"i- i can't accept that, sana. that's just too much…" 

  
  


"we're not having that discussion." sana doesn't pay attention to her and instead closes the safe, walking out of the room right after and leaving nayeon on her own to admire the ring. "and now, the final and most important one, my bedroom! but you're already pretty well acquainted with that one." she hears her saying from the other room and glances at the safe one last time, realizing that nothing keeps her from bringing their plan to life anymore. 

"coming." 

  
  


nayeon takes a deep breath, clutching her hand, the ring catching her eye when she stares in a mirror as a dull pain spreads in her chest, and she follows after sana right after. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


nayeon is falling for sana. 

  
  


actually, no, she fell for her long ago and is only now realizing how real and raw her feelings are, not without noticing the dangerous aspect of all of this. it was easy when she only allowed herself to hope in meaningless dreams and during long shared nights. it was easy because she was strong enough to ignore it, to pretend it was nothing but her subconscious having thoughts and feelings of its own. 

  
  


but something shifted with time, with the many days she spent getting to know sana and learning how to love someone without expecting anything in return. that's certainly what scares her the most about this, the fact that she doesn't care about the gifts, nor about the proposals to get financial help. all that seems to matter to her now is sana, and the way she makes her feel, the orchids that seem almost real now when she stares at herself in a mirror. but the temporary tattoo she got is also, in a way, the only reminder she gets of what brought her here, and what will get her out of it.

  
  


but nayeon does not want to walk away, not anymore. because when in her visions of a peaceful life there used to be beaches with soft sand and the need for nothing, today, she sees sana's smile. 

  
  


it lights up her whole world, and along with it sets a flamboyant fire in her heart, fireworks echoing in her ears every time she is graced with such a sight. never did she think getting to see anyone smile would become the most important part of her life, and yet here she is, watching with flowers blooming in her heart as sana tells her about her day, a bright smile on her lips. 

  
  


it took four weeks for her to fall for a woman she used to despise, and something tells her falling out of love will take a lot longer than that- that is, if she ever manages to succeed in such a heartbreaking task. and for a reason that seems to escape her mind, she can not help but share how she feels with the only person she should have hidden it from. 

  
  


"i think i love you." 

  
  


silence is her only answer and for a short instant, nayeon wonders if all of this is one-sided, if she misread all of the signs sana has been sending her. until she feels who she now supposes she should call her girlfriend breathing deeply on the side of her neck, and her arms tighten around her waist, bringing nayeon closer to her chest. confessing such feelings could have been a bit more romantic, she supposes, than doing it while the both of them soaked in a warm bath, sana hugging her from behind and refusing to let go even when the moment to wash themselves came.

  
  


and despite the romantic aspect missing, it's perfect. 

  
  


it's perfect because when a single tear falls on her shoulder, immediately kissed away by sana, she knows this was far from being a living dream.

  
  


"well, that's great because i think i love you too." sana's voice is lower than usual, a sign that she has been trying to control impending tears, and it makes nayeon's heart pleasantly ache even more. "you make me so, so happy. i want this to never end." 

  
  


and nayeon knows it's a lie, knows the future is far too uncertain for her to be honest, but she still makes a promise. 

  
  


"it won't. i'll never allow that to happen."

  
  


but is it really a lie if she believes it to be the truth hard enough that the lines between dream and reality begin to blur in her mind? not to her, at least. not when she can't imagine living in a world where the truth is any different than the life she wishes to live, with sana, forever. 

  
  


forever. 

  
  


"forever." she murmurs against sana's lips. 

  
  


and this, this is true. 

  
  


(nayeon is going to tell jeongyeon that she gives up and she's scared of what her reaction will be.

  
  


she knows sana will probably help if she tells her about their situation, and that robbing her would only be the hardest option- not only because she loves her, but also because it means they might possibly ruin their lives. 

  
  


nayeon is going to tell her, and everything will be as she imagines. 

  
  


sana's smile will be eternal, and will greet her every morning along with sunlight.

  
  


but she doesn't.)

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


today is the day nayeon is finally honest with jeongyeon. or, today was supposed to be the day, until she woke up to find that something had changed about herself. 

  
  


something she had long ago stopped hoping for. 

  
  


she slept at her and jeongyeon's place for the first time in a week in order to catch her before she leaves for work, and she wakes up to the sound of breakfast being served and the smell of coffee, something familiar after years of living with her friend, but also something she realizes she had been starting to miss. both of them haven't been away from each other for so long in years, and although she loves the time she spends with sana it can sometimes be hard, to think of jeongyeon, alone and struggling in their apartment as she waits for nayeon to act. 

  
  


the joy in her friend's eyes had been almost heartbreaking when she told her she finally knew where sana kept all of her jewelry and how to get to it without having to take much risks. it makes the task of having to tell she's canceling their plans hurt all the more, and that's certainly why she takes so long before opening her eyes, the comforting warmth of her bed having a lot more appeal right now. 

  
  


until her eyelids slowly flutter open, and the sunlight coming from half-closed blinds warms her wrist, a tingling sensation on her skin catching her attention. 

  
  


at first, nayeon doesn't understand the sight she's greeted with. for the sole reason that nothing about it makes sense, not now, not after all this time. but deep down, she knows it's real. just as real as her feelings for sana, feelings that might not mean much after all.

  
  


two fingers slowly trace the lines of the white alstroemeria now tattooed on her wrist, absentmindedly, as her world comes crashing down on her like a violent and threatening wave. it's about to engulf her, to drown her and never give her a chance to escape, and yet she's still almost oblivious to all of it, calmly staring at the proof that somewhere out there, her soulmate is experiencing the same surprise. 

  
  


_ her  _ soulmate. 

  
  


those two words echo endlessly in her mind, and all that is flashing before her eyes is sana. sana and how much she loves her. sana and how ruined any plans to get to wholeheartedly and truthfully love her have now become. 

  
  


sana and the impossible dream she is, out of reach. 

  
  


the smile she grew to love disappears in her mind, and for the first time in days, when she imagines sana, she sees tears streaming down her face instead of the usual heartwarming brightness that always radiated from her eyes. 

  
  


nayeon fell in love with sana, and the world chose to give her a soulmate. someone who, from what she knows, is not the woman she loves. 

  
  


it's enough for her to understand that she and sana are simply not meant to be. it hurts, of course it does. but the soulmark on her wrist can not be denied or ignored. 

  
  


so nayeon makes a decision. 

  
  


"hey, you wanted to talk to me?" jeongyeon asks as soon as she steps out of her bedroom, handing nayeon a cup of coffee when she sits down in front of her. "i have to go soon, the manager wants me there earlier today." 

  
  


"oh, that, yeah." nayeon looks lost in thoughts as she nods, taking a sip of the barely warm coffee. her long sleeve is hiding the fresh tattoo on her wrist, and she's glad jeongyeon isn't awake enough to ask her about the outfit choice. "i think it's time."

  
  


jeongyeon stops chewing on the piece of bread nayeon brought home last night, staring at her in disbelief. this is something she has been wanting to hear for so long, and waiting had become unbearable. but today is the day all of this reaches an end, and the sighs of relief she lets out is desperate enough for nayeon to understand exactly how she felt about this situation. 

  
  


"was wondering when you would bring that up."

  
  


"it took a while but, i've made a decision. we're doing it on monday, she's never home then, too busy meddling with her father's business. all we need to do is to book the flights and leave as soon as we have the jewels." 

  
  


and nayeon sounds so sure of herself then, not an ounce of doubt in her speech or in her eyes, that jeongyeon trusts her without thinking. it's always been that way between them, and nothing about that will ever change. 

  
  


but that was a mistake, and she will only realize that way, way too late.

  
  


"great. let's do this then."

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


upon the burning of their hearts, sana stayed oblivious and hopeful. 

  
  


certainly because nayeon is everything she ever wanted in a soulmate. she's carefree and so easy to love that falling for her was inevitable. her touches are enough for gracious white wings to grow from her back, wings that make her feel like she could fly higher than anyone ever has, above the sky. 

  
  


but what sana has yet to find out, is that the same wings nayeon has willingly given to her will burn as soon as they touch the sky. a sky that will turn grey, livid and unwelcoming. clouds of fire that will trap her in flames. 

  
  


and she will fall, helplessly. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. listen before i go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the last chapter!
> 
> i loved writing this fic a lot, so i hope you'll like it as well<3
> 
> enjoy!

  
  
  


it took years, but sana is finally happy. 

  
  


the whole concept of happiness is not something she ever seriously considered, at least not when she lost all hope of ever finding the soul that was meant to be hers. with time, she had given up almost entirely, and was simply left to wander in a world where everyone around her seemed to have what she so deeply wished to experience, even for just a few days. 

  
  


each of her day is now centered around nayeon, and it's enough. enough to give her a taste of the odd and unimaginable happiness everyone always claims to want. 

  
  


sana is happy, and unaware of what the future will bring to her, to them. but she doesn't care about that, because if it lasts for a few days, a few years, or forever as nayeon promised, she will know what it feels like, to be loved back. 

  
  


and that's enough. no matter the pain it might someday bring to her, that's enough.

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  
  


there is something unreal about the situation nayeon finds herself in. from the moment she met sana to now, as she walks without any goal in the streets of seoul, the sun following her everywhere she goes and highlighting the pain in soft features, nothing about sana makes sense in her mind. 

  
  


she knows she's supposed to join jeongyeon at sana's mansion in an hour, knows that she should probably already be there by her best friend's side and that her phone has not stopped ringing these past few minutes, but she refuses to acknowledge reality. not because it hurts, neither because she loathes it, but because nothing about this so-called reality seems real. and if it wasn't for the warm rays of sunshine hitting her side profile and warming her cheek soothingly, nayeon would believe herself to be stuck in a dream that became nightmare. 

  
  


there is no goal to her walking endlessly in small busy streets, light chatter and laughter interrupting her trail of thoughts on many occasions. no final destination either, nothing but the need to escape a cumbersome reality driving her to move forward in the mass of a faceless crowd. 

  
  


at least, that's what she believes. 

  
  


the mark on her wrist burns, invisible flames flicking against her skin, and she wonders if there exist ways to erase a soulmark, wonders if fire would be enough if she tried. flowers are fragile, and would certainly not survive through flames, so why is she not severing the part of her soul that is linked to another? the answer to this comes faster than she expected it to as a body collides into her, and warmth immediately spreads on her chest. 

  
  


at first, she wonders if that's what it feels like to meet your soulmate, wonders if this is what sana had gone through during their first meeting.

  
  


until she looks down to see coffee dripping from her now soaked shirt. 

  
  


when she looks up, she sees a stunned woman, certainly a bit older than she is, staring at the visible alstroemeria on her wrist in silence. it reminds her of the first time she met sana, when she had rushed into her as soon as she saw the cup of coffee in her hand, going against what the world wished when it gave her no soulmate, and gave sana someone else. but this scene is different, and this she realizes as soon as their eyes meet. 

  
  


the warmth she saw in sana's eyes is absent then, and all she senses is fear. 

  
  


"a-are you…" nayeon is too shocked by the sudden meeting to formulate a correct sentence, but the woman seems to understand nonetheless, her hand reaching for her own wrist and bunching her shirt up slightly to reveal exactly what nayeon had expected to find there. 

  
  


"yes. i think i am." 

  
  


an hesitant smile spreads on her lips but nayeon does not return it, not when this woman does not make her feel half of what she felt when sana first touched a temporary tattoo that had nothing to actually do with them being soulmates. 

  
  


"im nayeon." she says, reaching for her hand and giving it a light shake, waiting for the woman- her soulmate- to answer. the crowd is just as big as before and it parts around them, leaving them stranded in the middle of a sea of other souls, some empty and lonely, others whole and content. 

  
  


"myoui mina." and her smile only intensifies, nayeon this time choosing to return it lightly although her eyes stay empty of any warmth. "should we go somewhere a bit more private?"

  
  


nayeon nods before she can think about it, and she finds herself following mina, the crowd now going back to its habitual flow, one they both fall into until they reach the destination her soulmate had seemingly chosen for the two of them. the coffee shop they stop in front of is almost empty save for a few customers, and a waitress quickly arrives to give them a table indoors, away from anyone who might overhear the conversation they're about to have.

  
  


she looks around the place while mina orders something, and briefly registers her apologizing for the mess she made of her shirt, but her attention is somewhere else entirely. her eyes land on a picture at the back of the coffee shop, one that features sana and her father, their signature taking half of the picture, and suddenly no one else exists or matters. all she can think about is sana, and how she failed her. 

  
  


"... didn't expect to meet you so soon, and especially not here. and, not that way." mina visibly cringes when she takes in the sight of her soaked shirt, glad to know it at least is black and the coffee does not show as much as she had feared. "well, to be entirely fair, i never expected to have a soulmate, not after all this time. i had to watch everyone around me get one and my skin stayed empty of any ink, so i believed it wouldn't ever happen. and yet, here we are." 

  
  


focusing back on her actual soulmate, nayeon painfully looks away from the picture of a smiling sana and slips her leather jacket off, getting comfortable for what she believes will be a very long discussion, a lot longer than the one she had with sana. 

  
  


"i never wanted a soulmate." are the first words nayeon says, avoiding mina's eyes to focus on the alstroemeria on her wrist, tracing its line slowly. "i know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but as you just said i had gotten over it. it was hard, being a child and growing up without one, but i got over it and i'm not sure… i'm not sure this will be easy for me." 

  
  


silence greets her, forcing her to look back at mina, and when she sees that her smile shifted into a sad one, she's lost about how to interpret it. 

  
  


the same waitress mina talked to arrives at their table again, this time with two cups of hot chocolate, and right before nayeon can ask how she knew, she realizes this is what having a soulmate means. deep down, she feels like she could figure out each and every little detail of mina in a single uninterested look, and it certainly is true. 

  
  


"in all honesty, nayeon, i was not planning on you and i dating or even following the habitual way soulmates go to. and that's because," she brings the cup down after taking a sip of it and shows nayeon her hand. at first, she's confused as to what mina is trying to show her. that is, until she makes it clear. "i'm engaged to a woman i love already. and i know this is probably the last thing you expected when you found out you have a soulmate but, i'm not leaving her. never." 

  
  


the  _ forever  _ nayeon had promised echoes in her mind, mirroring mina's words almost perfectly, and she understands. of course she does. 

  
  


"what about you?" mina asks, hands closing around the cup in order to get some of its warmth. "do you perhaps have someone you wouldn't wish to leave?"

  
  


and her chuckle is enough for mina to understand that things did not got as easily for nayeon as they did for her. she avoids looking at her and her eyes land on the picture on the wall again, her heartbeat slowing down until she can barely feel it anymore, almost stopping entirely. "you could say that, yes."

  
  


a hand encloses hers and her eyelids fall shut as she takes a shaky breath, only now realizing that she's been trembling. and just like that, without thinking of the consequences nor of what it all means, nayeon tells mina everything. from the many struggles she and jeongyeon have had to face, to the plans they made, to her falling for sana, she tells her everything and she feels safe doing so. because even when she expects it, there is no judgement in mina's eyes, only brief pity and understanding, and she supposes if someone would understand what it feels like to fall for a woman you are not mean to be with, it's her. 

  
  


when she finishes her story and takes a sip of the now cold beverage, she's too scared to open her eyes again, scared of what mina might tell her. but it all goes a lot better than she had expected.

  
  


"well, that's a tricky situation you find yourself in there." she begins, taking a deep breath and brushing a strand of blonde hair back to brace herself for the discussion they're about to have. "but i think the answer to your biggest worries is pretty clear, nayeon. weren't you about to give all of this up before you found out i existed? then i think you know what you should do now. and i believe you do not need me to tell you that either." 

  
  


nayeon's hand tightens on mina's and she sighs because she's right, and she knows it. there are little to no doubts about what she should be doing right now, and even if it scares her, even if it means sana might never forgive her for it, she needs to be honest. mina has made her realize just how easy it is, to say the truth without filtering it or having to hide in shame, and although she knows it will be an entirely different story with sana, it's what she ought to do. 

  
  


it's what sana would want her to do if she knew, even if it brings an end to a short lived happiness. 

  
  


"when you told her you loved her, were you pretending?"

  
  


"no." nayeon does not hesitate for a single second before answering and mina's smile of understanding says more than words ever could, working as a mirror that forces her to face her own reflection and along with it repressed feelings. "no, i wasn't. i really, truly do love her, and that's what scares me." 

  
  


the tears glistening in her eyes are immediately chased away by mina bringing one of her hand to her lips and leaving a soft kiss there, one that brings her so much comfort that the tear that escapes and cascades down her cheek has become one of joy. 

  
  


"take one step at a time, and you can be sure that i will there all of the way. but for now, i think you have something to do." 

  
  


nayeon is out of the coffee shop before mina knows it, phone in hand as she tries to reach jeongyeon and tell her to cancel all of their plans. 

  
  


but when she never picks up, the fear only increases and with it her speed as she enters the first taxi she sees. 

  
  


(it won't go well, and this mina knows. 

  
  


not because she doubts nayeon's feelings, but because such betrayal takes time to heal, and this is just the beginning of many days, weeks, if not months of pain nayeon will have to face.

  
  


and yet, she's confident.

  
  


because the look in nayeon's eyes as she told her all about this woman she fell for, it was the reality nayeon was so desperately trying to understand.) 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


it's been a bit over twenty minutes since nayeon left mina in a hurry and has been desperately trying to call jeongyeon. twenty minutes since she should have been there, in front of the mansion, ready to break in with her friend. and the lack of a response on jeongyeon's side is only worrying her more. 

  
  


when the taxi finally reaches its destination nayeon runs out of the car and sees the entrance gate to the mansion wide open. but what makes her pause is not the security guards walking in the gardens, it's the car parked in the middle of the alley. a car she recognizes too well, its shining black reminding her of the first time she met sana, of their first kiss. and yet, today, it's the last thing she wanted to see at such a time. 

  
  


slowly, she enters the alley, and the guards barely acknowledge her presence as if someone told them she was safe. and sana certainly did, she trusted her after all. never could she have expected that things would take such a turn, and she's probably not even aware of nayeon's implications in all of this yet. as soon as she steps into the house, she hears her best friend's voice coming from the livingroom, begging, and she pauses once again, taking a deep breath. 

  
  


this will not go well. of course, it won't. not when the only way for her to hope to save her best friend from going to jail is to beg sana to forgive her, a difficult task once she will have confessed to have been lying all along. but nayeon made a choice and there's no backing down anymore.

  
  


she suddenly feels cold, chills rising on her arms, and realizes she left her jacket at the coffee shop, silently cursing her own clumsiness. when she reaches the entrance of the livingroom and sana immediately stares at her, the chills only double in intensity and she can barely fight the urge to wrap her arms around herself. 

  
  


neither of them say anything at first. 

  
  


sana simply stares at her with pleading eyes, and nayeon understands what she wants, what she's about to ask. and she unfortunately knows that the only answer she can give to sana will be an extremely disappointing one, so she stays quiet and watches, waiting for her to do or say something. the guilt that lies in her silence is certainly enough of a confession to sana who's eyes go from hopeful and desperate to rage, an uncontrollable wrath clearly about to be unleashed. 

  
  


and right when nayeon takes one step closer, expecting the woman now trembling in anger in front of her to scream at her, sana simply sighs and slowly leans back to sit on one of the three couches of the room, now refusing to look at nayeon. instead, she stares at the woman sitting in front of her on a chair, her hands tied together and resting on her laps. she examines her in details, eyes going over each and every part of her appearance, the entire black outfit not giving much place to doubts about what she was planning to do. 

  
  


"so… i suppose this is your friend." sana's voice is oddly enough calm, but nothing quite like the soft one she always reserved for nayeon. no, this one sounds threatening, like all of her rage is being contained in order not to explode and hurt anyone it encounters. "i knew i had seen her somewhere." 

  
  


nayeon's lips part as if to speak, but when her eyes land on the few guards present in the room, she keeps them tightly shut and opts for silence. 

  
  


"you can leave, none of them are much of a threat anymore." sana orders as if to get them some kind of privacy, and she knows she doesn't deserve it, but is surprised that sana trusts her not to hurt her when she still hasn't said a thing. 

  
  


nayeon watches the guards leave, and goes to stand between her and jeongyeon when the last door finally closes. "i'll explain everything to you if you let me." her speech is slow, quite like someone would talk to a terrified animal they want to approach but are not sure they won't scare away before they can do so. "please." 

  
  


never has she seen such coldness in sana's eyes before, and she expects her to call the police on the both of them at any moment. and yet, sana simply crosses her legs and leans back into the couch, giving nayeon a short nod as she braces herself for the story she is about to hear, one she supposes has nothing to do with true love and soulmates like the fairytales she used to adore so much as a child. 

  
  


"i'm not your soulmate." there were certainly better ways to begin this, but nayeon promised to be honest, and she intends on honoring said promise. even if it takes everything away from her, even if it destroys any of her hopes for the future, nayeon will say the truth without any kind of filters. "w-we came up with this idea a few months ago when we saw an article about your jewelry collection and its worth, and this was such a dark time for the both of us that… we didn't think we had a choice. and i still don't think we did, to be fair."

  
  


she makes a small pauses, looking back at jeongyeon who is staring down at the floor in shame, blonde hair almost entirely covering her face although nayeon knows exactly how she feels in this instant. everything had been so easy, from the moment they started planning how they would rob the jewelry to a few weeks ago, it had been easy because the morality of it all had not yet hit. but now that they've both been caught, they are both realizing just how wrong they had been to think of stealing something that was seriously precious to sana. 

  
  


and yet, nayeon is not about to pretend that they had a choice. they did, of course, everyone always has a choice. but the one they made was the only option for them to survive, and a choice then becomes an ultimatum. 

  
  


"we made research about you, about your soulmate. and we found out you were searching for her, that you didn't know who she was, and that's when we came up with the idea of me pretending to be her. i- i know what we did is horrible, and that you probably thought you had finally found her and could leave all of this behind yourself but… giving you false hope was never our intention. it just, it just happened." nayeon folds her arms, looking away from sana again when she sees tears making their way down her cheeks. it's the only sign that she's listening, the only sign that she's hurting, and it's enough for tears to pool in her own eyes.

  
  


"so everything was a lie. from you walking into me, to you telling me you… you loved me. all of that was just you taking me for an hopeless idiot and trying to steal from me?"

  
  


"that's what complicates things because, that's not exactly the case. i wasn't supposed to get so close to you, not at all. but then i realized i wanted to. and then, i realized that the feelings i was trying to keep as pretend had become real-"

  
  


"don't." sana cuts her off, her head falling in her hands. "do not go there. please, i won't stand it."

  
  


"i own you the truth, sana. and i want you to know that i love you, even if i know you don't, not anymore. i want you to know i was going to cancel everything and tell you about our plans but i was too late-"

  
  


"you weren't late, nayeon." when she pulls her hand away, black streaks of mascara are falling down her cheeks and her rage-filled eyes are back, the aura taking a sudden different turn. "i personally think you were just on time. you're lucky, really, because i was just about to call the police on your dear friend and have her rot in jail for the rest of her life. but… i think that will not be necessary. just, leave." 

  
  


nayeon takes a step closer to sana and she flinches, looking at the opposite wall to avoid her. and she wonders if there will ever be a way for her to comeback from this, her confidence having now gone down to zero as she realizes she ruined everything, and along with it herself.

  
  


she reaches for jeongyeon, untying her hands quickly because she knows this second chance sana is giving to them might not last for long, and the intake of breath the woman takes makes her pause right after jeongyeon's hands are finally free. before she even has time to turn around to figure out why sana reacted in such a way, a hand closes around her wrist and yanks it forward gently. 

  
  


at first, nayeon is oblivious to what sana might be staring at. until she remembers, her skin burning under sana's intense eyes, and what happens next is what certainly ruins any chances of her feelings ever being returned again, chasing the remaining sympathy sana probably had for her. 

  
  


"you dared to do this to me while having a soulmate of your own?" she asks, and her tone is far from being calm at all then. "i thought, i thought you didn't have one, but you're just going to get back to whoever it is and live a happy life, aren't you?"

  
  


jeongyeon is just as shocked as sana as she stares at her wrist, and the fear is back in her features as she expects sana to denounce them at any second. nayeon on the other hand is speechless and wonders how she could have forgotten about hiding this new part of herself. 

  
  


"i can't believe i almost believed you when you said you really loved me."

  
  


sana lets go of her hand and the last look she gives to nayeon before walking out of the room is not one she will ever be able to forget. not when it leaves her soul burning and her heart to shatter in a million pieces. 

  
  


she stays rooted in her spot for long seconds, watching the door by which sana left and waiting for her to return, for her to tell her she's forgiven, no matter how unrealistic such a wish is. she waits, but nothing ever comes, nothing but her hope slowly slipping away and her tears becoming heavier by the second.

  
  


nayeon blinks and finds herself in a silent taxi, leaning against jeongyeon's side as her friend soothingly pats her back. 

  
  


"it will be alright." she nods as if to convince herself of a fabricated lie. "we've been through worse, i swear we'll be alright." 

  
  


(they won't. 

  
  


at least, not nayeon. 

  
  


but she doesn't need to hear that yet, so jeongyeon lies and pretends. they've both become too good at doing that for it not to become omnipresent in their lives anyway.

  
  


and more than ever, jeongyeon hopes for time to heal the scars falling for sana has left in nayeon's heart.) 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


going back to a normal, sana-less life is impossible. 

and nayeon tried, really, she did. she pretended that sana never even existed for a few days and tried to let her previous and restless life follow its course, until she came face to face with a giant billboard that featured the woman of her dreams turned nightmares. quite like her feelings for sana, it was impossible to ignore, there, standing in the middle of city and made to catch the eye of anyone who might pass by it. it had done its job, and nayeon had found herself staring at the recent looking picture of the woman she loved for close to an hour. frozen in place as time continued to flow and the crowd surrounding her continued to pass. 

  
  


and when pretending did not work anymore, she tried to face her feelings in order to forget her. 

  
  


that had involved her telling jeongyeon everything until night fell and she cried in her arms. and when the sun rose again, a light pink sky illuminated by its red warmth, nayeon was still crying and jeongyeon was still drying unstoppable tears. 

  
  


it failed as well, of course. 

  
  


until nayeon realized why she wouldn't ever be able to forget about sana. 

  
  


how could she, when her last memory of the woman she loved above everything was made up of tears and betrayal, instead of the bright smile she was so deeply attached to? every time nayeon remembered sana, her heart ached until she felt like it would stop beating altogether, as if trapped in a flurry of pain it would not escape until her last memory of her changed. 

  
  


from the moment she understands that forgetting about sana is not something she has control over, nayeon finally starts breathing again. 

  
  


it's definitely not an ideal situation, not when the woman is on her mind at every second of the day, not when she sees her in all of her dreams, not when each and every of her actions are now tightly linked to her, but she manages to live with it. certainly because it once again is not a matter of choice. nayeon goes to work and makes sure to busy herself with as much shifts as she can physically stand so that she's too exhausted to even think when she arrives home and falls asleep as soon as she lays down. 

  
  


it has always been about surviving, with her and jeongyeon. when they left their parents to go to the city, both had so much hope for it to bring all of their dreams to life. but in reality, it had destroyed everything they had and left them to struggle. 

  
  


sana had been their escape, the door that would bring them out of this miserable apartment they weren't even sure they would manage to keep for another month. and this door had violently closed right before they could pass through it and never look back at what they left behind. 

  
  


the wish to give up was starting to replace the hope sana had unknowingly given to them, and nayeon was not sure all of this would go one for much longer. 

  
  


but she pushed through, and never did she forget the promise she once made to sana. 

  
  


_ forever _ **_._ **

  
  


she will fight for it, no matter what it takes. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


going back to a normal, nayeon-less life is easy. 

  
  


sana had barely needed to try for nayeon to stay entirely out of her mind, and the usual course of her life had started again, between meetings and film auditions. everything was back to how it used to be a month ago, or at least that's what sana told her therapist, what she tells herself everyday in order to forget. 

  
  


because when nothing should remind her of the ghost nayeon has now become, the three orchids on her inner arm having entirely disappeared to leave her skin empty of anyone's mark, a white and empty canvas left for her to paint as she wishes, nayeon is everywhere. she's in the sheets of her bed when she falls asleep, which caused her to entirely avoid her own bedroom in order to sleep in one of the guest room, nayeon's presence absent from there. she's in the morning coffees she drinks, sour on her tongue and yet warming her heart, the same heart she stepped onto and crushed. 

  
  


nayeon is everywhere because deep down, sana does not want to forget about the only woman she has ever truly loved, even if her feelings were not in reality returned. 

  
  


so she goes back to a normal life, but the memories she has made with nayeon follow after her. they're in the large cotton clouds that follow after her in the city, in the wind that grazes her cheeks as she lowers the window of the same car they first kissed in, always watching the lives of others unfold before her eyes because it's making it easier for her to momentarily ignore her own shadow, one that used to be in pain from loneliness but that today features another one, standing next to her. 

  
  


and even after everything that happened, even after she saw the soulmate mark on nayeon's wrist, sana decides to keep an eye on her. 

  
  


"how is she doing?" 

  
  


"nothing as changed since you last asked me for news, miss minatozaki. although she recently got let go from her third job, she was almost immediately hired by another restaurant. a bit less classy, but i suppose it pays well."

  
  


"anything about her soulmate?"

  
  


"no, still nothing."

  
  


"has anyone been bothering her?" sana barely looks up from the files she's going over, glasses perched on her nose due to the many sleepless nights she has had that left her too tired to do much. "you know what i want to know about, so just get straight to the point." 

  
  


the man pauses, gulping, and sana finally stares at him, worry replacing impatience in her eyes. 

  
  


"in all honesty, she doesn't seem to be doing well. but it's been that way every week of this past month, so i don't think you're learning anything new here."

  
  


"i don't want to learn anything i don't already know, i just want to know how she is. if that's too hard for you to find out, i can ask someone else to do this for me." 

  
  


her tone is certainly harsher than she would like it to be, but knowing that even after a month nayeon is still doing as badly as she was right after they last saw each other never announces a great day on her part. he must take her glare as his clue to leave as he hurries out of the office right after her small outburst, bowing respectfully one last time, and sana is once again left alone with a single picture of nayeon. 

  
  


at first, she felt bad about how intrusive it is, to ask for someone to check on her every week. but when she opened the files and found a picture of nayeon, her thoughts immediately changed. 

  
  


her fingers slowly trace nayeon's features, and sana knows she will never get out of the never ending spiral that is im nayeon.

  
  


certainly because she does not want to. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


mina unexpectedly calls her one evening and nayeon has never answered a call so fast. they promise to meet up soon, and mina asks if she would be alright with meeting her fiancee, something that nayeon eagerly agrees to. 

  
  


it should certainly break her heart to think of her own soulmate being with someone else, but it only makes her happy. she likes to imagine that some succeeded where she failed, and it gives her hope for the future to be more promising than she expects it to be. 

  
  


their house is small but cozy, right outside of town in a housing area that looks like the perfect place to live a peaceful life with someone you love. she had to take a taxi in order to get there and the ride does cost her money she shouldn't have had, but she didn't want to make mina feel guilty about it and a part of her did want to see the place her soulmate chose as her home- even if it means she will have to skip a few meals in the next few weeks. 

  
  


the woman that greets her is definitely not mina and she's at loss for words for a short instant, not knowing what to say. thankfully, the short blonde haired woman who opened the door decides to take matters into her own hands when she senses that nayeon isn't sure of what to do in such a situation.

  
  


"hi, you must be nayeon." her smile is so heartwarming and honest that it reminds her of sana, but this time she does not feel like crying. no, quite the contrary of that actually. "i'm jihyo, mina has told me a lot about you." 

  
  


and unexpectedly, nayeon reaches for a hug, one that barely lasts long enough, but that feels warm and loving. jihyo's hand pat her back gently, and she is once again reminded of sana, realizing she has not received affection from anyone but jeongyeon for a month. 

  
  


"i'm really happy to meet you." she whispers in jihyo's ear right before pulling away from her, and mina appears behind her fiancee right after, staring at them curiously. 

  
  


mina and jihyo are so welcoming of nayeon that she's not sure she ever wants to leave, their house to her taste certainly because she shares the same ones as mina on so many aspects for soulmate reasons. they sit in a small but well-kept garden, flowers of all colors blooming around them, and nayeon feels like she can breathe so much better here than in the city. it's liberating, the first moment of peace her mind gets in a month, and she leans back in her seat to stare at the bright blue sky handing over their head, devoid of any clouds. 

  
  


"so, should we talk about what happened between you and this woman you told me about?" mina asks as jihyo joins them in the garden with three glasses of iced tea, proudly claiming that she made it herself, and nayeon takes a generous sip when her throat suddenly becomes dry, delaying the moment she will have to tell her soulmate everything. "i know it didn't go well, i could feel it from there to be honest." she adds, showing the alstroemeria on her wrist. "but i want you to tell me about it yourself."

  
  


nayeon sighs, closing her eyes for a few seconds as the sun caresses her cheek lightly, a feeling that reminds her of the kiss sana would lay on her cheek each morning, one that would leave her skin tingling for the rest of the day. when she opens them again, jihyo is staring at her intently, and they're holding hands. 

  
  


"i was too late and sana was too early, i guess. jeongyeon went through with our plan because she got tired of waiting for me, but sana arrived home and immediately called for security when she saw that the front door was left wide open. jeongyeon got caught, and i had to tell her the truth, like i had planned." she pauses to take another sip of the ice cold beverage, briefly praising jihyo for its taste. "she saw my soulmate mark. that's what really ruined everything i think, because after that she refused to believe me when i said i was honest about my feelings."

  
  


"have you not talked to her at all since then?" jihyo asks, her stare almost pitying, and nayeon supposes she doesn't mind being pitied as much as she'd believed, certainly because she knows jihyo is only meaning well. 

  
  


"no. i don't think she wants to talk to me at all."

  
  


"but do _you_ want to, nayeon?" 

  
  


she doesn't hesitate before answering a hushed "yes." and mina reaches for her hand, the one holding onto the cold glass, so that she's holding both of their hands. 

  
  


"you said you wouldn't give up the last time we met. you said you would try to make her understand what you did, and that you would make sure she knows you love her. so why exactly have you not done any of those things?" 

  
  


and really, her soulmate is right. 

  
  


when she promised to sana that she would never allow them to get separated, she also silently swore to fix all of the mistakes she might make. and yet, instead of fighting back, she had wasted a month of her life and cried in silence over her loss. a loss she could only blame herself for. 

  
  


"i know it's not easy, i myself fell for a woman i was not destined for and who herself was destined for another. but look at us now, nayeon, look at where fighting for what i believed in got us to."

  
  


"but… how?" 

  
  


"you'll figure that out on your own. but i- we- believe in you. and if you ever need help with anything, we would be more than happy to help you with it." 

  
  


mina drives nayeon back into the city two hours later once she's gotten to know jihyo and her own soulmate, the leather jacket she had left behind herself during their first meeting now back on her shoulders. the ride is silent, certainly because her mind is too busy with thoughts and images of sana to care about her surroundings, and mina seems okay with that, simply giving her a light smile and a promise to see each other again soon when nayeon steps out of the car. 

  
  


all hope needed to come back was a few words from mina and a smile from jihyo, and today, nayeon is glad to say that she will do more than survive. 

  
  


she will live her life to its fullest, and for that to happen, she will make sure to see sana smile one last time. 

  
  


because what really matters to her now is not for it to be the first or the last time. it's for sana to have the opportunity to make a choice between those two. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


nayeon has been waiting in front of the gates of the wide mansion sana claimed as hers for an hour now, and the scenery is still empty of any sana. 

  
  


she supposes she could have tried texting first, but sana has probably blocked her number anyway and it wouldn't be of much use. so instead of doing that, she had a little talk with jeongyeon and a long phonecall with mina, and a stop by the flower shop and a few hours spent writing brought her here, waiting endlessly. she got tired of yelling sana's name after a few minutes, realizing how that might feel like for her, and instead sat down in front of the gates, the flowers under one arm and the letters on her laps. 

  
  


the large trees overhanging her head are hiding her from the vibrant sun and she's glad for their presence, especially since she had not thought of planning any kind of drink in case she found herself waiting outside. she's not even sure sana is inside and has noticed her, because if it had been the case, she would have certainly sent someone to ask her to leave- and nayeon would have done so. but nothing has happened yet, not a sound came from the other side of the tall walls, so nayeon continues to wait, refusing to give up. not again. 

  
  


and right before her eyelids can drop shut, the heat of the sun getting almost unbearable at this point, a sound she's not sure she recognizes reaches her ears and forces her eyes to stay open. 

  
  


she stays frozen on the ground, her coat under her so as not to stain the white dress sana bought for her, until she realizes what she's hearing are footsteps- approaching footsteps. her heart drops when she understands why no one was replying to her on the other side of the gate and the apprehension of her first interaction with sana in weeks resurfaces, her breathing accelerating until she almost loses control over it.

  
  


standing up on shaky legs, she takes a step closer to the road, finally revealing herself to sana, and time freezes. 

  
  


sana looks as amazing as she remembers, the only difference between now and then being her tan, giving a warmer color to her skin although it is light, and the empty space on her inner arm. it's the first thing she notices, and it makes the guilt all the more intense, because she can not help but feel like she gave sana hope and took it all away from her in the span of a few weeks, only to leave her with nothing in return. and it's certainly close to the truth, too close to not make her want to apologize repeatedly until her mouth is to dry for her to speak another word. 

  
  


but she made plans, and she wrote down what she wanted to say. so she will stick to it, even if it hurts to do so. 

  
  


sana stopped in front of her, a small casket fluff of freshly cut flowers dangling from her arm, and the shock she feels from seeing nayeon is evident. her head is slightly tilted, and she looks like she's about to speak but doesn't know what to say. contrary to nayeon, she has not had the opportunity to write her own thoughts down, and neither had she planned to ever see her again anywhere else than in a picture she kept by her bedside table. 

  
  


"i know you probably don't want to see me right now- or ever, really. but i really want you to hear what i have to say, just one last time." nayeon begins, until she remembers about the flowers and accidentally lets go of the letters she was holding in order to give them to sana. "oh, no, wait give me a second and i'll say everything i have to-" 

  
  


she's leaning down before sana can speak, now holding a bouquet of flowers she does not know and having nothing to do but to watch as nayeon panics and tries to pick up the letters, whining when she notices that some ended in dirt and are probably of no use anymore. she freezes when a hand settles over hers, looking up from the now messy paper to see sana looking at her with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow. 

  
  


"nayeon, calm down, i'll give you all the time you need." her words are ones nayeon had not even dared to dream of hearing and her hand accidentally closes around the only intact letter, shuffling it in her fist as her hands start trembling lightly. "let's go inside, you look like you could use some cold and water."

  
  


and nayeon is so shocked by sana's reaction to her presence here that she entirely lets go of the letters, a light breeze taking them flying away from them, and follows after her in silence as if scared to ruin all of this with a single word. she's reminded of the last time they saw each other as they pass the gates and walk up to the porch, sana entering a code nayeon makes sure to look away from, not wanting her to believe she is ill-intentioned at all. 

  
  


"thank you for the flowers by the way, they look amazing." her voice brings nayeon back to reality and she realizes she had been staring at a picture of sana on the wall for too long and forgot to follow after her, blaming this on how much she had missed that smile. "what are they?"

  
  


"alstroemerias." 

  
  


when she steps into the kitchen a glass of water is waiting for her on the counter and sana's back is turned to her as she puts the flowers in a vase. 

  
  


"they symbolize friendship, mostly." nayeon adds as she reaches for the glass of fresh water but waits before drinking from it. "my soulmate mark is a white alstroemeria with a few traces of pink. but the ones i chose for you are red, and i think you know what that means." 

  
  


sana freezes, still arranging the flowers in a wide red vase, and although nayeon can not see clearly what she's doing, she knows sana is thinking about what she just said. 

  
  


"nayeon…" she begins, turning around to face her again even though her eyes stay focused on the floor, refusing to directly stare at nayeon. leaning back against the counter, she sighs, because she understands exactly what who she had once believed to be her soulmate is trying to say. 

  
  


"i know i've not always been honest with you, especially at the beginning. but i never lied to you about my feelings, not once." she gulps and takes a step closer to the trembling woman, putting her glass back on the counter now that it's empty. "not even our first kiss… was a lie. sure, i didn't realize how real my feelings were then, but if i'm sure of one thing it's that i wanted to kiss you as much as i still do now. and that no matter how much time passes, nothing about this will ever change."

  
  


"how can i trust you after what you did?" 

  
  


although the part of the kitchen she's standing in is dark, the sunlight coming from the large windows not reaching her, nayeon can see that sana is on the verge of tears. it's odd, to think she knows almost everything about sana when she barely spent a month getting to know her. and yet, every little detail that make her who she is, and that certainly explain why she's so special in her heart, nayeon knows and cherishes. 

  
  


"i'll earn your trust back if you let me. but i also think we don't need a soulmate mark to know how we both feel about each other. not everyone needs a soulmate, sana. and i know you spent most of your life waiting for yours, but it's not too late for you to allow yourself to love and be loved by someone else." nayeon stops walking closer when sana flinches, aware of how risky it would be to push the limits she silently set between them. "i'm sorry about what happened. truly, i am. not a day went by without me thinking of you and hating myself for what we put you through."

  
  


and sana knows this, she saw just how miserable nayeon looked these past few weeks, the traces of a smile hard to decipher on her lips. the three orchids night not be burning on her inner arm anymore when in nayeon's presence, but her heart sure does. it's the only sign she should need to know that each and every one of nayeon's word is honest. 

  
  


"if you want money…"

  
  


"sana, shut up." 

  
  


nayeon sighs and takes one last step, closing the distance left between them. slowly, she reaches for sana's jaw and tilts her head upward, her eyes taking in features she had so desperately missed. and when sana certainly expects a kiss, her eyelids slipping shut as she braces herself, nothing of the sort ever comes. 

  
  


"i missed seeing you smile." she simply whispers against her cheek, chills rising on sana's skin from the intimacy of a moment that should have never been, but that will never be forgotten. and only then does she notice the light smile gracing her features, only then does she dare to open her eyes and to take the real last step. 

  
  


denying herself a kiss feels like she tore apart a piece of her own soul, but when her arms close around nayeon's waist and her head finds its place on her shoulder again, after a month of a growing loneliness, sana believes she has never felt so whole before. 

  
  


her heart burns harder than her feelings for an nonexistant soulmate ever have, and she knows this is what love should feel like. 

  
  


it burns, but innocently so. 

  
  


it burns to set fire to her worries and insecurities, and it leaves behind a peacefulness that makes her feel like she's standing on a cloud, surrounded by a warm sunset. 

  
  


it burns, until nayeon returns the hug, and all she can feel is a fragile and yet perfectly synced equilibrium. 

  
  


they stay like this for a while, time going so much faster now that they're in each other's arms once again, and neither of them dares to pull away first, scared to let go only to never find each other again. it won't be the case, obviously. but the fear of losing what they've both barely gotten back is so intense, pulsing threateningly under their skin, that neither of them is ready to ignore it. 

  
  


until sana speaks again, breaking the serene silence they were both softly dancing to, swaying from side to side in sync with the lazy rythm of two beating hearts. 

  
  


"can i say something now?" 

  
  


and nayeon chuckles against the side of her neck, reminded of a distant and yet still so fresh memory. she nods, her hands settling on sana's soft hips as if refusing to entirely let go of the woman who keeps her heart alive. 

  
  


"even if i wanted to, i'm not sure i would ever succeed in pretending that i don't love you." her words hit nayeon quite differently from how she is used to feeling around sana. this time, the wave that crashes over her is gentle, delicate, and barely brushes her mind stronger than a soft spring breeze would. "but i'll need time. not to love you again, because this i never stopped doing. but trusting you might be hard for some time."

  
  


now both staring at each other intensely, neither of the two can miss the other's feelings. the almost apologetic smile that spreads on pink lips and the hope flashing in a look of disbelief are both clear, and both announce that no matter what is to come, they will be advancing toward it hand in hand. 

  
  


"i'll do everything in my power to earn your trust back." 

  
  


"good." sana smiles, an iridescent brightness coming from gracious features nayeon had so deeply missed, and the urge to close the gap left between them and bring back another lost memory is getting stronger by the second. but right before nayeon can close her eyes and reminisce a taste she always feared she would forget, wet lips graze her cheek until they find an ideal spot to lay a soft and delicate kiss. 

  
  


"now, about this walk in the gardens?" sana says as soon as she pulls away, tugging nayeon toward the entrance of the kitchen eagerly as mirth sparkles in her eyes. 

  
  


they spend the next hour walking among flowers and singing birds, their chants following them in each and every part of the gardens sana has always been fond of, and their hands naturally gravitate toward each other after a few steps, remaining like this until the time has come for them to be separated once again. 

  
  


but before the time to leave comes, they both sit by the wide and tranquil lake sana is used to taking swims in when summer arrives and along with it its unbearable heat. it's light today, and allows them to lounge there for a while, hands still connected even when sana chooses to hug nayeon's side. 

  
  


when nayeon leaves, she's smiling and confident about the future.

  
  


when nayeon leaves, sana watches from the gates and is read to trust nayeon again. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


they meet a few days later under a deep blue sky that seems to be reflecting the colors of a stagnant sea, and sana drives them around the city, fresh air flowing between them as silence engulfs the first date of many. 

  
  


neither of them speak simply because there's no need for anyone to do so when the quietness of the day and soft touches echo so much louder in their mind. nayeon apologizes again when sana parks the car in front of han river but she only receives a glance of acknowledgement as sana brings her shades up to rest on top of her head and gets out of the white car she recently acquired, walking closer to the water until nayeon decides to join her. silence is once again back and this time, she does not dare breaking it.

  
  


sana does that for her instead. 

  
  


"why did you stop holding my hand?" 

  
  


nayeon makes sure to fix that, and they're both back to admiring the view peacefully. 

  
  


their second date is quite similar but this time, sana takes one step closer to nayeon and leans against her side, an arm wrapped around her waist instead of hanging by her side. 

  
  


and every time it reaches an end, sana takes a picture of nayeon who insists on returning the offer. it's selfish, really, their only motivation being the wish to keep a good memory through time even if it lacks animation and realness, a still smile and a sometimes wrongly timed picture not coming close to expressing how they felt in that one moment. but when the night falls and the sky turns dark, sometimes illuminated by shining stars sana never fails to admire, they both have something to turn to and it's not enough, of course not, but it's all they allow themselves to indulge in for now.

  
  


sana gradually gets to know who the real nayeon is, and soon realizes just how similar to the woman who had briefly shared her life she is, save for a few exceptions- starting with the softness she allows herself to have once in a while, which becomes often with sana. 

  
  


"did you just whine?" 

  
  


nayeon throws a pillow she stole from the couch to sana who fails to catch it, laughing when it hits her in the arm and immediately sending it back flying to nayeon. 

  
  


"didn't know you had it in you, but judging from that pout i was wrong about you. no need to whine, i'll cancel my appointment tomorrow and stay here with you." and nayeon's pout disappears, replaced by a content smile, certainly proud of herself for making sana give into her untold pleas. "but that means you have to join me for a swim in the lake." 

  
  


and right before she can whine again, sana playfully glares at her before settling on her laps, getting ready for what will certainly be another evening of watching a bad film on tv- bad because they wouldn't want to miss a good one in case one of them suddenly decide they find more interest in spending that evening without pulling away from the other's lips.

  
  


nayeon falls asleep halfway through the film and when this used to be a boundary she refused to break, sana decides to let her rest there for the night, bringing a warm blanket over her body before she sits by the wide open windows and brings a glass of iced tea nayeon brought to her house to her lips, slowly sipping on what she believes to be the best drink she's ever had. 

  
  


the fresh air of the night is more than welcome by this time of the year, a necessary break from the almost unbearable heat of the day that sometimes makes it hard for her to return nayeon's hugs, the warmth coming from her threatening to consume her whole. chills rise on her arms and legs, her robe slipping down her shoulder and revealing traces of the light pink lipstick nayeon wore today. 

  
  


it's then that all of the doubts she once had leave, the light breeze forcing them away from her and bringing them flying by the window, into the night, to dance along the darkness of the sky and the brightness of the stars. 

  
  


it leaves a sweet taste in her heart, almost as sweet as the tea she is currently taking one last sip of before heading to her own bed, and she knows nayeon is her soulmate then. 

  
  


it doesn't matter if there are no words on her skin to say so. 

  
  


what matters is how fast her heart beats whenever she smiles, and how nayeon makes her feel like no matter how high in the sky she goes, she will never reach the limit, left to fly endlessly between cotton clouds and a coral sun. 

  
  


she pauses on her way to her room to admire nayeon one last time and leans down to lay a small kiss on her forehead, chuckling softly when nayeon smiles in her sleep. it's better than a still picture, brings her more comfort than the screen of her phone that features a smile that existed for the sake of a pretty memory, and sana knows this is what she wants to see before falling asleep every night from now on.

  
  


so she tells nayeon just that on the morning that follows, and an old promise is once again brought up to the surface. 

  
  


_ forever,  _ it says. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


"so, how is it?" 

  
  


shudders are the only answer she receives, nayeon glaring at her as she slowly tests the temperature of the water which is unsurprisingly cold. 

  
  


"you go first, it's not that hot anyway. i'll just stay there and watch." but before nayeon can turn around and step out of the lake, her feet far too cold for her to even considering putting her body through such a harsh temperature change, sana runs into the lake and brings her further in water on her way. loud whines of protest are unfortunately not enough to get sana to let go of her hand and nayeon finds herself with her head underwater, laughter greeting her as soon as she gets back to the surface.

  
  


"no watching today, you've done enough of that yesterday." sana slowly swims toward her looking more like a frog than the professional swimmer she always swore to be and finishes her course hanging on nayeon, mirth sparkling in her eyes as she fakes a pout to mirror her girlfriend's. "are you mad?" 

  
  


"of course, i-"

  
  


sana cuts her off with a small but nonetheless unexpected kiss, one that nayeon is happy to prolong, and it works in distracting her from the ice cold water, the chills rising on her arms now coming from an entirely different reason. 

  
  


it's when they're both laying on the grass, a vibrant sun drying wet skin, that sana finally tells nayeon how she feels. 

  
  


she does not miss a single point, making sure nayeon understand just how important she has grown to become to her. the day ends with them watching as the night falls and the sky turns to a soft magenta that reminds them both of the three flowers sana used to have on her arm, until pink becomes a deep black in which stars shine almost as brightly as their eyes. almost. 

  
  


all of this still feels so unreal to nayeon that she makes sure to capture each and every second of happiness sana brings to her in the irises of her eyes, convinced that no matter what happens, she will never let go of those memories. 

  
  


and it's useless, really. 

  
  


because nothing will happen. no betrayal, no fight, no doubt. 

  
  


nothing but moments like this and multiplying feelings. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


it took years, but sana is finally happy. 

  
  


and this time, there will be no what-ifs, nothing to bring an end to her newfound happiness. and the absence of any doubt in her mind does not only come from nayeon and how willing she is to trust her again, but from someone else entirely. 

  
  


"miss minatozaki?" a woman calls for her when she steps out of her father's building, this time in a way better mood than the last few times it happened- not because he made time for her, no, he has not left his meeting since she arrived, but because nayeon just sent her a text about a special one month anniversary dinner she is currently preparing for them- and she slows down, stopping in front of her. 

  
  


"yes, would you like an autograph? or a picture perhaps, i can do that as well-"

  
  


the sight of the woman's wrist is enough for her to gradually stop speaking until she's left to stare at the alstroemeria she is now familiar with and tenses, immediately understanding who's standing in front of her. 

  
  


"or we could simply talk? i'm myoui mina, nayeon might have told you about me." the woman reaches for her hand and her handshake is as soft as her features, blonde hair making her look almost like an angel- which makes jealousy soar in sana's heart although she immediately brushes that off. 

  
  


"she did. well, she omitted a few details," including your beauty, sana thinks. "but she did talk to me about you once or twice."

  
  


"once or twice? with the amount of times she called me to tell me about you that's almost hurting my ego." mina laughs then, and it reminds her of a softer version of nayeon, without the loudness and certainly a bit more elegant on some aspects. "so, about that talk?"

  
  


"oh, of course, how about this ice cream place one block away?" 

  
  


and really, in all of the ways sana expected her day to go, sharing an ice cream with her girlfriend's soulmate had not come close to being her first thought. but it's been going far too well for her mood to turn sour, especially when she realizes mina is just as kind as nayeon told her. 

  
  


a bit scary at some point, sure, but nonetheless very kind. 

  
  


"to be entirely honest with you, me meeting you today was not completely uninterested. i actually wanted to make sure you weren't lying about your feelings to nayeon, and although i have my ways of knowing when nayeon is herself honest or not, there was none for me to make sure  _ you _ were." mina brings a spoon of the cherry flavored ice cream to her lips, staring at sana intensely, and she gulps, suddenly feeling like she's being interviewed. "so, anything you might want to admit to me now?"

  
  


"i'm going to propose to her in a few weeks. everything is already planned, the plane tickets, the rings, the meal we're going to share. everything. does that answer your question?" 

  
  


a staring contest starts between the two, a proud smirk replacing sana's earlier scowl as mina seems to be out of words to say. it ends with them both coming out as victorious, sana now sure that nayeon is not playing with her heart, and mina seemingly content with her answer. 

  
  


"it does."

  
  


they spend the rest of the hour mina was able to get away from work getting to know each other and hug when they finally part ways, sana immediately reminded of nayeon. and as she walks back to where she left her car, a discussion she had with mina replays in her mind.

  
  


"i'll never steal nayeon from you, you know. i have a wife i love, and i suppose she is in a similar situation as nayeon in a way. she fell for me although she had a soulmark, and i did not. and even when she found out who her actual soulmate was, she refused to leave me for her. her mark… has faded today." mina had stared intensely at her then, as if trying to pass a message she might have missed. "and i don't think either of us would have been happy with anyone else." 

  
  


it took years for sana to finally be happy, just as long as it took for her to let go of a soulmate who fell for another. 

  
  


but the emptiness on her skin is nothing compared to how whole nayeon makes her feel. 

  
  


and even if whoever once was her soulmate is today closer to her than she ever was, sana will only ever have eyes for nayeon.

  
  


the soulmate she chose, the stars that got entangled. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


instead of rings, they exchange tattoos. 

  
  


it's an idea they get on a whim shortly after sana proposes, nayeon being the first one to suggest the idea of artificial ink not needing to be meaningless if they decided so. and sana had immediately agreed, because nayeon was hers and this she knew, but making it official in their own way only made her heart soar in joy.

  
  


the evening that follows their wedding, a small celebration sana has yet to have even informed her father of, is one they spend in a tattoo salon, hands tightly clasped as the needle traces a small wing on each of their wrist. 

  
  


sana's long white wedding dress contrasts with the decor of the underground salon, colored skulls hanging on the walls and a dim light illuminating the room, and yet she never felt out of place. how can she, when nayeon's fingers slowly trace her knuckles and chase away all of her doubts while making this the perfect wedding. she had always believed she would have one of those grandiose fairytale-like wedding, but what really matters in the end is who is standing next to her at the altar. 

  
  


and it so happened that it was not the soul she was initially destined to, but the one she fought for. 

  
  


"who would have thought this would bring us here?" nayeon murmurs into the night as sana peacefully sleeps next to her, dawn rising before she can even get to close her eyes after the night they've had, and when no answer comes, she does not care. certainly because nayeon does not need to hear anyone say what she already knows. 

  
  


although she sometimes wonders if a mistake was made, a slight miscalculation that caused them to have to go through betrayal and lies before a well-needed peace finally draped over their minds. there's no way for her to ever get an answer, but the one she chose is enough and she doesn't need more. 

  
  


sana chose her, and so did she. 

  
  


that's what soulmates should be about, two souls that will fight through time to find each other. 

  
  


even when the world refuses to let them, even when all hope is lost. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


years later, the tattoos on their wrist are 

not made of a simple ink anymore. 

  
  


they will never know about it, of course, because the idea to erase the ones they got in the first place will never brush their minds. but if they were to do that, soulmarks would appear under the lines of the wings they get to share. 

  
  


no mistake was made, in reality. 

  
  


sana and nayeon have always had different soulmates in their previous lives. and every time, they found each other instead. 

  
  


life has made it harder for them than it did for those born with the person they are meant to be with on their skin, but it never failed them, never fought against their love. 

  
  


and the sky only is a limit to their love until they find each other, and their wings cease to burn. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
